Last year,
more active-duty soldiers killed themselves than died in combat. And after a
decade of deployments to war zones, the Pentagon is bracing for things to get
much worse
guardian.co.uk,
Ed Pilkington in New York, Friday 1 February 2013
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| William Busbee was in many ways the archetype of the US soldier, and his mother feels he was let down by the army he loved so much. Photograph: Libby Busbee |
Libby
Busbee is pretty sure that her son William never sat through or read
Shakespeare's Macbeth, even though he behaved as though he had. Soon after he
got back from his final tour of Afghanistan, he began rubbing his hands over
and over and constantly rinsing them under the tap.
"Mom,
it won't wash off," he said.
"What
are you talking about?" she replied.
"The
blood. It won't come off."
On 20 March
last year, the soldier's striving for self-cleanliness came to a sudden end.
That night he locked himself in his car and, with his mother and two sisters
screaming just a few feet away and with Swat officers encircling the vehicle,
he shot himself in the head.
At the age
of 23, William Busbee had joined a gruesome statistic. In 2012, for the first
time in at least a generation, the number of active-duty soldiers who killed
themselves, 177, exceeded the 176 who were killed while in the war zone. To put
that another way, more of America's serving soldiers died at their own hands
than in pursuit of the enemy.
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| Credit: Guardian graphics |
Across all
branches of the US military and the reserves, a similar disturbing trend was
recorded. In all, 349 service members took their own lives in 2012, while a
lesser number, 295, died in combat.
Shocking
though those figures are, they are as nothing compared with the statistic to
which Busbee technically belongs. He had retired himself from the army just two
months before he died, and so is officially recorded at death as a veteran –
one of an astonishing 6,500 former military personnel who killed themselves in
2012, roughly equivalent to one every 80 minutes.
'He wanted
to be somebody, and he loved the army'
Busbee's
story, as told to the Guardian by his mother, illuminates crucial aspects of an
epidemic that appears to be taking hold in the US military, spreading alarm as
it grows. He personifies the despair that is being felt by increasing numbers
of active and retired service members, as well as the inability of the military
hierarchy to deal with their anguish.
That's not,
though, how William Busbee's story began. He was in many ways the archetype of
the American soldier. From the age of six he had only one ambition: to sign up
for the military, which he did when he was 17.
"He
wasn't the normal teenager who went out and partied," Libby Busbee said.
"He wanted to be somebody. He had his mind set on what he wanted to do,
and he loved the army. I couldn't be more proud of him."
Once
enlisted, he was sent on three separate year-long tours to Afghanistan. It was
the fulfillment of his dreams, but it came at a high price. He came under
attack several times, and in one particularly serious incident incurred a blow
to the head that caused traumatic brain injury. His body was so peppered with
shrapnel that whenever he walked through an airport security screen he would
set off the alarm.
The mental
costs were high too. Each time he came back from Afghanistan. between tours or
on R&R, he struck his mother as a little more on edge, a little more
withdrawn. He would rarely go out of the house and seemed ill at ease among
civilians. "I reckon he felt he no longer belonged here," she said.
Once,
Busbee was driving Libby in his car when a nearby train sounded its horn. He
was so startled by the noise that he leapt out of the vehicle, leaving it to
crash into the curb. After that, he never drove farther than a couple of
blocks.
Nights were
the worst. He had bad dreams and confessed to being scared of the dark, making
Libby swear not to tell anybody. Then he took to sleeping in a closet, using a
military sleeping bag tucked inside the tiny space to recreate the conditions
of deployment. "I think it made him feel more comfortable," his
mother said.
After one
especially fraught night, Libby awoke to find that he had slashed his face with
a knife. Occasionally, he would allude to the distressing events that led to
such extreme behaviour: there was the time that another soldier, aged 18, had
been killed right beside him; and the times that he himself had killed.
William
told his mother: "You would hate me if you knew what I've done out
there."
"I
will never hate you. You are the same person you always were," she said.
"No,
Mom," he countered. "The son you loved died over there."
Soldiers'
psychological damage
For William
Nash, a retired Navy psychiatrist who directed the marine corps' combat stress
control programme, William Busbee's expressions of torment are all too
familiar. He has worked with hundreds of service members who have been
grappling with suicidal thoughts, not least when he was posted to Fallujah in
Iraq during the height of the fighting in 2004.
He and
colleagues in military psychiatry have developed the concept of "moral
injury" to help understand the current wave of self-harm. He defines that
as "damage to your deeply held beliefs about right and wrong. It might be
caused by something that you do or fail to do, or by something that is done to
you – but either way it breaks that sense of moral certainty."
Contrary to
widely held assumptions, it is not the fear and the terror that service members
endure in the battlefield that inflicts most psychological damage, Nash has
concluded, but feelings of shame and guilt related to the moral injuries they
suffer. Top of the list of such injuries, by a long shot, is when one of their
own people is killed.
"I
have heard it over and over again from marines – the most common source of
anguish for them was failing to protect their 'brothers'. The significance of
that is unfathomable, it's comparable to the feelings I've heard from parents
who have lost a child."
Incidents
of "friendly fire" when US personnel are killed by mistake by their
own side is another cause of terrible hurt, as is the guilt that follows the
knowledge that a military action has led to the deaths of civilians,
particularly women and children. Another important factor, Nash stressed, was
the impact of being discharged from the military that can also instil a
devastating sense of loss in those who have led a hermetically sealed life
within the armed forces and suddenly find themselves excluded from it.
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| Busbee |
That was
certainly the case with William Busbee. In 2011, following his return to Fort
Carson in Colorado after his third and last tour of Afghanistan, he made an
unsuccessful attempt to kill himself. He was taken off normal duties and
prescribed large quantities of psychotropic drugs which his mother believes
only made his condition worse.
Eventually
he was presented with an ultimatum by the army: retire yourself out or we will
discharge you on medical grounds. He felt he had no choice but to quit, as to
be medically discharged would have severely dented his future job prospects.
When he
came home on 18 January 2012, a civilian once again, he was inconsolable. He
told his mother: "I'm nothing now. I've been thrown away by the
army."
The
suffering William Busbee went through, both inside the military and immediately
after he left it, illustrates the most alarming single factor in the current
suicide crisis: the growing link between multiple deployments and self-harm.
Until 2012, the majority of individuals who killed themselves had seen no
deployment at all. Their problems tended to relate to marital or relationship
breakdown or financial or legal worries back at base.
The most
recent department of defense suicide report, or DODSER, covers 2011 . It shows
that less than half, 47%, of all suicides involved service members who had ever
been in Iraq or Afghanistan. Just one in 10 of those who died did so while
posted in the war zone. Only 15% had ever experienced direct combat.
The DODSER
for 2012 has yet to be released, but when it is it is expected to record a sea
change. For the first time, the majority of the those who killed themselves had
been deployed. That's a watershed that is causing deep concern within the
services.
"We
are starting to see the creeping up of suicides among those who have had
multiple deployments," said Phillip Carter, a military expert at the
defence thinktank Center for a New American Security that in 2011 published one
of the most authoritative studies into the crisis . He added that though the
causes of the increase were still barely understood, one important cause might
be the cumulative impact of deployments – the idea that the harmful
consequences of stress might build up from one tour of Afghanistan to the next.
Over the
past four years the Pentagon, and the US Department of Veterans Affairs, have
invested considerable resources at tackling the problem. The US Department of
Defense has launched a suicide prevention programme that tries to help service
members to overcome the stigma towards seeking help. It has also launched an
education campaign encouraging personnel to be on the look out for signs of
distress among their peers under the rubric "never let our buddy fight
alone".
Despite
such efforts, there is no apparent let up in the scale of the tragedy. Though
President Obama has announced a draw-down of US troops from Afghanistan by the
end of 2014, experts warn that the crisis could last for at least a decade
beyond the end of war as a result of the delayed impact of psychological
damage.
It's all
come in any case too late for Libby Busbee. She feels that her son was let down
by the army he loved so much. In her view he was pumped full of drugs but
deprived of the attention and care he needed.
William
himself was so disillusioned that shortly before he died he told her that he
didn't want a military funeral; he would prefer to be cremated and his ashes
scattered at sea. "I don't want to be buried in my uniform – why would I
want that when they threw me away when I was alive," he said.
In the end,
two infantrymen did stand to attention over his coffin, the flag was folded
over it, and there was a gun salute as it was lowered into the ground. William
Busbee was finally at rest, though for Libby Busbee the torture goes on.
"I was
there for his first breath, and his last," she said. "Now my
daughters and me, we have to deal with what he was going through."
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| Suicides have outnumbered combat deaths in US troops in 2008 and 2009 |
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